Hi, this is Tanis with our last entry of our 7 Part Practical Parenting Tips Series. In today’s post Tina will be asking questions about what types of things she should do in regards to both drawing and enforcing boundaries.
Tina’s Question:
Hi Tanis,
What types of things should I be doing to both draw and enforce boundaries…..we have been very wishy washy in the past. What is effective?
My Response:
Tina,
Yes, boundaries are needed especially in situations where you need to keep your child safe or when they need to learn how to respect other people’s boundaries and of course to create their own boundaries.
For example I live near a really busy highway so my kids are not to play past the treeline in our front yard. It’s a verbal agreement but it’s a boundary for them.
Now if they are to cross the line, then we may need to put up a fence to keep them safe.
I find each family has different situations and create different boundaries depending on those situations.
It’s important for kids to know, like adults that everyone has their own unique boundaries.
One person may only take calls at a particular time of day, whereas another may only allow visitors on a particular day. Some kids may love being close and cuddle and others may like you at arm’s distance.
It’s good to talk to the kids about the boundaries you have put into place for them and why. Ie: You can’t come into the kitchen while I’m cooking because the stove is hot and you may get burned…. safety boundary. Or you may not come into my room if the door is closed because that means mom is changing or needs some alone time… personal boundary.
It’s also good to let them know what happens if they do cross the line or invade someone’s boundary. Ie: they could get hurt or anger someone as in the above examples.
What types of boundaries are you looking to inforce? You said you were wishy washy in the past. Is that with all boundaries or just certain ones?
Do you have any boundaries in place that do work well now?
I Hope this helps,
Take care, talk to you again soon
Tanis
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