Practical Parenting Tips: Part One – The Importance of Discussing Parenting Styles With Your Partner and is Routine Important For Your Children?

Hi, this is Tanis.

After our first 3 part post on “Giving Your Children What They Desire”, Tina had more questions, so the Better Parents, Better Kids Team decided to create a 7-Part Practical Parenting Tips Series, so I can answer all Tina’s questions and you will get to read along with us.

So here is Part One of our series – The Importance of Discussing Parenting Styles With Your Partner and is Routine Important For Your Children?

Tina’s Question:

Thank you Tanis, I am going to give you some specific examples of behavior and ask some specific questions and hope that I can get a head start doing the right things for my kids.

First off, is the first step to have a discussion with my husband and decide what we mutually agree is important for our kids to do, to learn, etc??

For instance, we have been advocates of routine (with slight derailments to satisfy our needs ie. Going to bed later because we are out – occasionally), routine is important for kids right? Kids like to know what’s going to happen next don’t they? Structure is important isn’t it?

Okay, I’m sure I’ve overwhelmed you enough for one night….so I’ll wait for your reply and then with full intent I will implement your suggestions. Thank you so much – your exchange with me has been very helpful – as my kids are my biggest challenge in patience and frustration.

I am learning too! I want them to know that I do love them unconditionally and I also want their respect. I know I have lacked in that area in the past, but I am hoping that by providing more choices, putting more control in their hands and not reacting so much to what they do – that I will eventually earn that respect. Thank you again for all of your help – it is truly appreciated!!

P.S. I understand what you mean about love not conquering all and the difference between that and the ability to have a relationship. I want to have the best relationship and friendship with my kids. I want only the best for their life.

Thank you,

Tina

My Response:
Hi Tina

Yes, as co-parents it is always a good idea to talk with your partner and discuss where you both are and what you want to achieve and how to go about it. Otherwise your kids will feel that you are not on the same page with certain things and may try and play the two of you.

Routine and structure is good… for some kids. It may or may not work for your kids. For example I am one that doesn’t like a lot of routine and structure it makes me feel tied down and takes away my freedom. My son on the other hand likes to know what to expect and feels good about having a routine.

If your boys are happy with the structure and routine that you have created then that’s okay but if you find you are dragging them thru it while they are rebelling against it and it just feels hard to do then it means they may need a little less structure…. or maybe a lot less.

Parenting, in my opinion is an ongoing learning process. But my intention is to have my kids learn about themselves, love themselves and to want to achieve their highest and best.

Take care, talk to you again soon.

Tanis

For further reading, check our Better Parents, Better Kids Main Site at www.bpbkonline.com

Check in with us again for Part Two of our Practical Parenting Tips coming soon…

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